I can’t take you anywhere
But how do you cope when it’s your significant other that is to blame for your shame? What do you do when your special someone is especially embarrassing? How much should you put up with before thinking about The Flick?
From bad table manners to a dodgy hobby, there are many thing that our loved ones do that we sometimes wish they wouldn’t, particularly in the presence of others. Such ‘quirks’ are often endearing at first, but can blossom into full scale bugbears as time toddles on. This is where the problems start; you bite your tongue too long, you soon bring on trouble.
For every time those corny jokes about Jesus and the Japanese golfer get wheeled out in polite company, or the hips start to gyrate desperately out of time to the music, the pressure to say something becomes almost unbearable.
This is usually the point where the silent witness cracks in a tremendous fit of bottled up bile and indignation, “FOR GAWD’S SAKE, I CAN’T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE YOU BLOODY EMBARRASSMENT!” (cue crickets chirruping amidst lonesome tumbleweed in a room full of gobsmacked expressions)
Now it seems you’ve gone beyond the point of easy return. You have hurt your loved one, offended onlookers and deeply damaged your own situation. Shame, shame, shame.
Nip it in the bud next time, says I. You may be reluctant to drop a splash of bitters in the lovey dovey stage of initial infatuated bliss, but things left unsaid can taint the long term.
Voice your opinion when you’re ready to hear a response, be open and encourage your partner to reply with their feelings about the issue. Whether they’re for or against change, it is to some extent irrelevant; the point here is your communicating kinda what relationships are all about.
Furthermore, it establishes a positive framework for the rest of your partnership; foundations based on openness and honesty for the mutual benefit of both parties involved. Hunky dory.
However, it is important to be mindful of tables when turned how much change would you be willing to make before seriously questioning whether the love of your partner is reserved more for an idea than reality?
mornin’. (including an up and at ’em JB)
not that i want to “taint” anything in the slightest . knowing how fragile everyone is these days . dearie, but this does sounds like a very embarrassing “what what” that we all know 🙂 . done about it?
So: “Katherine “CityKat” Feeney knows what what works”
if you value this bloggie relationship you might wanna think about fixing your what what or shall I just send you the bill for proof reading?
All very well, but what happened to loving someone the way they are? And what if you’re doing something really embarrassing and nobody tells you because you’re too susceptible?
See, my dad often makes embarrassing comments, which don’t really bother me, but my mother is mortified. However, she has her own extremely embarrassing moments,
but my dad just accepts it.
Same as JB’s wife just accepts those moments when he dances in a really embarrassing way. Let him, I say. By the time you reach thirty my dear CK, you’ll be over the embarrashment.
It’s best to get to know your boyfriend/girlfriend as early as possible, such that if they are someone who you would be embarrased by (or is likely to turn into one), then you can move on, and necessarily the earlier you can move on, the better.
Not that I’ve ever had the misfortune of having to be in that position.
And I’d like to think that none of those who have dumped me did so for that reason though I can’t be 100% sure
In fact the more I think about it, lawyers are pretty embarrasing really.
Could this be any more of a girlie topic?!
This seems to be a problem women suffer from rather than men (mmm maybe men do embarrassing things and women don’t tend to but I’m not about to admit that). The type of guy who is embarassed by his girlfriend is rather full of himself and quite frankly rude!
Second on the girlie topic identifier. The fact that you (like all women) think you can change a guy of his embarrassing habits. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE GUYS! I know you all like to think of it as helping him be a better man, improve him for him, bring out his best, be all he can be. Here’s some news for you ladies; the US army spends a lot of money and a lot of time trying to do exactly that, and the record shows little success. Our mothers had a good 18 developemental years on you women and look how far they got. Men are not semi domesticated animals that you can train to be what you want. Identify a guys faults and decide if you can live with it, or not. STOP EXCUSING MEN’S BAD HABITS ON THE BASIS THAT YOU CAN CHANGE THEM!
Third on the girlie topic twist is the issue of getting him to discuss his feelings. Again women do this, men do not. And they especially do not do it with someone they fear will see it as a weakness. The great SNAG scam is still very fresh in our collective memories. “Oh I want a guy who is kind, thoughtful and discusses feelings” yeah so you can off load your emotional baggage on him and then sleep with any guy that doesn’t pay you enough attention. The best you can do is ask DIRECTLY. ie “Are you angry/sad/disappointed/frustrated?”. That way all the man needs to do is answer yes or no and you have your answer. Remember ladies to silly old men, questions begin with who, what, when, where or how. Oh and they have to be on topic. Asking us if we enjoyed the food at a wake is not a question about how we are feeling about XYZ’s death.
I think some embarrassing things can definitely be forgiven and overlooked and a super patronising pat on the head and roll of the eyes to one’s girlfriends. Who cares right? But what about when they reeeally embarrass you. My darling ex (a lawyer no less tres embarrassing) once had the mother of all tantrums in front of a group of my girlfriends essentially demanding that I not go out with my friends and look after him after he had drunk himself into insulting oblivion all day. Humiliating. Of course I still went out in defiant girl power, but I found the bedroom door locked when I got home. It was early ish in the rel’ship so I tried to pass it off as a drunken misadventure. Not so the next couple of times he did it to me again (sober). Countless humiliations later, I realised that it’s true. Boys will never change, and being embarrassed by your significant other is not compromise or being tolerant. It’s plain old embarrassing. Sometimes a spade is just a spade.
The rest of us just laugh and joke about it with them the next day.
This topic reminds me of an ad I saw on eBay a while ago. It was for a full size, working replica of the Dalek props used in the original circa 1960s Doctor Who film,
lovingly hand built by the seller. The reason he was selling it was that his wife had demanded that he get rid of it.